Yours Always
by tea-induced scribbles
Summary: This short story is is based on an Idea by IndyBlonde85: Sasha comes up with a sweet surprise for Tom to apologize for always disregarding his orders and challenging his command.


_A/N: So the Original Idea courtesy of IndyBlonde85: Sasha comes up with a sweet surprise for Tom on Valentine's Day, to apologize for always disregarding his orders and challenging his command. The idea was for the Valentine's Extravaganza but in my story it's not on Valentine's or related to it. Sorry, it just didn't gel in my brain but I loved the idea. So I hope you love the rest even though it's not Valentine's related at all._

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 **Yours Always.**

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Tom opened his mail box in town and frowned, usually he received bills, the odd job offer from the President and other corporations that wanting him in their ranks,sometimes there was a soft pack of clothing when Ashley bought off the internet or Sammy when he needed art supplies. He usually paid the bills on the day while he tossed out the job offers in the bin and took what was left over home. But today there was a small box. He lifted it out and looked at the post marks. It had come a long way as it originated from the U.K. for him. But not wanting to waste time, he put it into canvas bag he brought for shopping and went on with his errands.

It had been 8 months since he resigned from the Navy, he'd meant to stay in St Louis but when he and the kids returned to their home. Well, it just didn't feel like home anymore. It was just filled with ghosts like the home in Norfolk. So as soon as they buried his father with full military honours, Tom packed up the kids and the basics into the car. They hit the road with no real direction or destination in mind. Part of him hated the journey and process of leaving but he couldn't stay in St Louis. Too much had happened there and he knew if he stayed he'd be dragged back into whatever the next problem cropped up. He was tired, he was tired of having that responsibility hanging on his shoulders, he was tired of being the one every person turned to for answers. But most of all he was tired of choosing between his duty to country and his duty to his children. They deserved better given the hell they'd been dragged through.

Another aspect he fought with was his own ego of being in charge, after losing his father and Tex, shooting Allison Shaw- it made him realise that he was going down a road he didn't want to traverse. He could see him thinking he could keep flouting the rules and thinking he could fix it all when he couldn't. It was hard to let that go, to let go of the mindset of being the one to fix everything and buck the crew up. It was also hard to face the disappointment of those he'd left behind. But he knew they'd go on, but even so he was haunted by his last exchange with Sasha before leaving the ship.

It seemed no matter how far he removed himself from it all, it didn't leave his mind but the distance helped him gain a better perspective. He found a small country town where people didn't know him as a hero but as Tom, the widow who moved into the old Wilson's cabin 40 minutes out of town with his two kids. It wasn't like they didn't know about the Nathan James but they couldn't make the connection between the well groomed Captain and Tom the friendly guy with a beard and wild curly hair who couldn't tuck in his shirt to save his life. He'd purposely made an effort to look more relaxed and unlike his former self the only slip ups he made were polishing his boots and he couldn't swagger or slouch to save his life. So some people picked up on his military past but didn't comment, they generally let him be.

He finished his errands in town quickly and headed home, he had to admit he liked living outside of town. The long drive was scenic and gave him time to just empty his mind or at least try to. The move had also been good for the kids. Ashley didn't like the hour long bus ride to school but she and Sammy made friends, they actually lived more outdoors than before enjoying the fresh air. Going for hikes on the property, horse riding, camping in the backyard and stargazing. With the acreage they settled on gave them a lot of space to mess around in. He'd considered getting a dog, but there was a bit of an argument in the household on what breed to get. Other than that life was panning out very well and quietly which was what he'd needed after the past three years.

He pulled into the driveway and drove up to the old farmhouse, he parked the truck in the shed and got out of it with his bags. He opened the mudroom door, smiling at how he didn't have to worry about locking the door because no one locked their doors in this county. Or so the Sheriff informed him, Tom locked up at night for the kids peace of mind but during the day, he just couldn't be bothered. Frankly, figured anyone who drove out to their place to steal their goods would have to be exceedingly desperate.

He kicked off his boots in the mudroom, and opened the door to the kitchen. He packed away the groceries and filed away the paid bills before he settled down with a cup of coffee and the package. It was addressed to him. He pulled out his switchblade knife he carried with him everywhere and opened the box. Inside was a wrapped gift and a letter. He picked up the letter, the handwriting looked vaguely familiar, he unfolded it and looked straight to the bottom where it was signed by Sasha. He frowned in confusion and surprise as he hadn't spoken to anyone but Mike, he hadn't told Mike where he only called to wish Mike luck and to assure him that he and the kids were well.

 _Dear Tom,_

 _I hope this package and letter reach you in one piece. I hope that you and the kids are well,I hope you found what you were looking for when you left the ship. I've been thinking about you a lot over the past few months. How we parted, I just play it over and over in my head. I've been twoing and froing about whether to write this letter but I just can't leave everything unsaid anymore. It's also easier to write this than say it to your face, that and I'm currently on mission so as always I have imperfect timing._

 _I can't discuss where I am or what I'm up to, but I wish you were here by my side. But I now understand, I understand why you had to leave, why you couldn't speak to Kathleen. It took me a lot of time but I understand and I'm so sorry about how I acted towards you. I've always seen you as this person who is impossibly strong and I drew my own strength from you like many others. I couldn't handle you walking away and I was hurt because you might have felt you were only walking away from the mission and your losses. But to me it felt like you were walking away from me too and that really hurt me, it also pissed me off especially that kiss._

Tom smiled, he knew she was being serious but even he was kicking himself for kissing her and walking away. But he couldn't stay and he could see she understood that and had gotten past her anger.

 _I know all we have is our past history, where I fully acknowledge that I blew what we had back then because of my own insecurities and youth because honestly I wasn't ready for us to get married. I wasn't ready to compromise on my aspirations for myself and the Navy to be with you. I don't want to rehash it because we parted way but we did move on and got what we wanted from our lives. I don't want us to regret everything in between as you have beautiful children and you were genuinely happy which was all I wanted for you even if it killed me to know it wasn't me. I always wanted the best for you and still do._

 _It's why I hope that you've found the peace you were looking for, that whatever broke for you all those months ago has repaired itself. I'm imagining you somewhere with the kids, I'm imagining that you're happy and looking after one another. I so hope it's true._

 _Now, if you open the present..._

Tom opened the present to find a bobble head dog of a Bull Terrier with soft white fur and black spot on one of it's eyes. It had a tiny chain around it's neck with a small dog tag with 'Sasha' engraved on it. He wore a quizzical expression as he took it out it's box and placed it on the table.

 _I want to take this moment to apologise and extend this pup as a 'olive branch' of sorts. To apologise for those times I was a bitch (get it?) and questioned your command, disobeyed orders. I can't change the past or my nature in general but this pup named Sasha unlike me will always agree with you. It will nod it's head when you want it to say 'Yes' and will shake it's head when to say 'no' and you can direct it with just a tap of your finger. But be gentle.._.

Tom snorted a laugh as he looked at the dog and Sasha's weird sense of humour but he could just imagine her gifting it to him in real life and part of him wished she had. He did miss her, while months ago he felt he had nothing to give her. But these days he was in a much better place emotionally and physically.

 _So, don't feel obligated to reciprocate but if you ever wanted to send me a letter then I can be reached via the Nathan James. I don't know when I'll be back stateside but I hope when I return that we could catch up as old friends. I feel like I only got you back in my life and I don't want to lose you again._

 _Also, I hope you'll forgive me for the few lies it took for me to find out where you were living. I promise I will respect your privacy from here on out, I just wanted you to know that I'm going well, that I do miss you and that you're in my thoughts._

 _Take care of yourself,_

 _Yours Always,_

 _Sasha._

Tom smiled softly ad he carefully folded up the letter and placed it into the box. He looked to the dog that was bopping it's head and gave a chuckle, he shook his head as he picked it up and went up to his room. He placed the letter in the drawer of his bedside table and the dog on the table top next to his clock. He took the box back downstairs and disposed of it before he took his coffee and headed to the study. He moved behind his desk and pulled out a piece of paper and picked up a pen.

 _Dear Sasha,_ He started to write.

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The End.


End file.
